I Always Get Sucked In...

... hoping that the people at Maybelline will finally get their heads out of their asses and make a good mascara, and I'm always left disappointed, bitter, and pissed. I've tried COLOSSAL (um, it was very NOT colossal-- they should have named it "CRAP-LOSSAL"), Pulse Perfection (better than Colossal-- although naked lashes are better than that garbage-- but still clumpy and not worth the fifteen bucks you save versus the department store vibrating mascaras), and yesterday I decided to try Great Lash BIG.

First: seriously, Maybelline, you can capitalize any product name you want, it won't make said product work any better. 'Kay?

Second: I'm sure there are plenty of y'all who love and are loyal to the original Great Lash. I mean, it's on Allure magazine's "Best of Beauty" list every year. Every. Friggin'. Year. I'm sure, for those of you who have the slightest bit of substance to your lashes, it's positively the bee's knees. If you feel that way, might want to just stop reading here and go do something else. No harm, no foul-- but come back soon, I have lots of other crap to discuss.

So I gave it a shot hoping that, at less than five bucks, it would rival Lash Blast in producing a fat fringe at an even cheaper price. I would be wrong. It's okay at best, and certainly doesn't give me BIG lashes. Furthermore, it took me longer to layer it on to get a decent result that what I can get with just a few swipes of Lash Blast. I guess if you only have five bones to spare on mascara, have at it. But don't expect miracles.

First, Facebook, Next... Twitter?

Hey ladies! I finally figured out how to create a Facebook page for this little blog, and already have FOURTEEN fans! Woo! (Okay, so I sent an invitiation to become a fan to just about every female I'm friends with on FB, but whatever-- they could have ignored. Fourteen of them didn't! Hooray!)

I'm currently in the throes of writing my column for the December issue of VIP Williamson, which is going to be a breathless holiday beauty survival guide. I'll post it as soon as I finish. In the meantime, here's the November entry, in which I give some major props and thanks for those products that completely and thoroughly own my ass.

Give “Beauty-ful” Thanks

We all have so much to be thankful for, and there’s nothing like gathering with family and friends to eat, visit, reflect, and (if you’re like my family) eat some more. The Beauty Junkie is also thankful for my beauty-product faves, those I return to again and again. Here’s my list of products for which I’m truly thankful—read and learn.

Clarisonic cleansing brush. I love this thing. Like a Sonicare for your face, it deep-cleans without stripping or irritating. It comes in normal- and sensitive-skin options, works with any cleanser (you get a trial-size cleanser with the brush), and even beeps when it’s time to move from one area of your face to the next. It also works miracles on self-tanning mistakes and spots that need non-abrasive exfoliation. It’s simply cleansing nirvana, and gives you brighter, more even-toned skin in the process. Seriously.

Rodial Glam Balm. I’ve can’t say enough about the little tube with a million uses. It ain’t cheap, but lasts a while, and does wonders on just about every part of your body that needs some TLC. Castor seed oil and pomegranate extracts do wonders for dry lips, cuticles, eyelids, nostrils, and skin that generally needs a boost. I’ve even rubbed the tiniest bit between my palms to smooth out the ends of my hair. I’ve used it on top of lipstick for shine, and under it in winter months for to smooth over dryness. In the highest elevations in Colorado, I applied it every night as a deeply hydrating mask, and every morning as a moisturizing makeup base. I’ve used it on razor burn. I could keep going, but you get it. I keep a tube in my bathroom and a tiny pot in my purse, and pray that the smart people at Rodial keep it coming. Love!

Lancome Oscillating Powerbooster and Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara. I’m sure y’all are sick to death of reading about my tried-and-true favorite mascara-and-primer combo, but you’ll just have to deal. Lash Blast is far and away the best all-around mascara. It gives the department-store formulas a run for their money (literally—Lash Blast costs all of seven dollars), and produces full, fat lashes. Waterproof, different shades, sparkly Lash Blast Luxe, lengthening Lash Blast Length—you name it, it has it. As for Powerbooster, nothing else primes, separates, and prepares lashes quite like it. Its price counteracts the affordability of Lash Blast, but it’s just quite simply worth every penny. I adore them, end of story.

Comptoir Sud Pacifique Vanille Abricot. It’s a mouthful, but it’s also the name of the best-smelling perfume ever. The entire line of Comptoir fragrances uses Tahitian vanilla paired with different elements, each of which is downright lovely. Vanille Abricot basically smells like birthday cake, but in a very grown-up, non-sickening way. When wearing it, I usually hear someone say, “Wow—I smell cake!” while looking around expectantly. (I’ve yet to find another perfume that brings about such happiness.) It’s truly unique, and smells delightful on just about everyone. I once found the body lotion at TJ Maxx, and you’d have thought I’d won the lottery. If you don’t want to invest in the standard-size spray, snag a purse-size one for around twenty bucks at Sephora. You’ll love it, I promise.

Paula Dorf Baby Eyes eye pencil, Cargo Eyelighter, and Anastasia Tinted Brow Gel. We’ve all heard of using eyeliner on the inner lower rims of our eyes, but the results can be bewildering. Dark colors shrink the eyes, and white can look chalky and fake. Baby Eyes comes in the perfect shade of beige that does absolute wonders for opening the eyes and faking the eight-hours-of-sleep look. Ditto the Eyelighter, a dual-ended sponge-tip pen that has matte powder on one end and shimmer on the other. I use the matte shade under my brows and at the outer corners of my eyes for lift, and the shimmery shade in the inner corners to highlight. Perfection. For a finished look, the Tinted Brow Gel is the best I’ve ever found for keeping unruly hairs at bay. It also subtly fills in any sparse spots and lasts all day without being stiff. You want to see me panic? Steal my Anastasia brow gel.

Finally, and most importantly, I’m thankful for all my beautiful readers and to VIP for letting me pen this little column! Fewer things give me such joy, and for that, thank you. Xoxo

Buying Guide

Clarisonic, Comptoir Sud Pacifique, Cargo, and Anastasia: Sephora

Rodial: Woo Cosmetics

Lancome: Belk

Cover Girl: Local drugstores

Paula Dorf: The Cosmetic Market

Lawd!

So those of you who share my Facebook addiction have by now learned that I again find myself under the weather (what IS it about the first week in October that pisses off my body so much?!). This time? I'm on my freaking vacation with my freaking family in freaking Hilton Head. Here I sit, with oodles of time on my hands (while Hubs, Sis, et. al. live it up at a Packerbacker bar-- Hubs is a bit psychotic when it comes to Green Bay football), yet I cannot even motivate myself to take a shower-- wait, a freaking shower. When I do, however, I plan to do so with a Shower Steamer by Hydrasoap. My mommy found these cute little bath-bomb-esque tablets in an also-cute shop in Harbour Town and snapped up several as stocking stuffers. I played pitiful long enough to make her give me the one named "Clarity" containing eucalyptus and peppermint. I envision magically opened sinus cavities and an unburdened chest, all in the convenience of a hot shower, and all for less than five bucks. Sweet! If you're interested, peep their website here. They have all kinds of cute bath and shower products. I think you have to register in order to buy stuff from the website, so come up with a funny username, like clownpenis.fart. Do it. Please. I need something to laugh about; well, at least something that doesn't make me laugh so hard that I end up coughing up a lung.

P.S.-- This post is my first one from my fancy new MacBook! Who's fancy? I'M FANCY! (Well, not really, but I did have a Best Buy giftcard, and didn't officially have a personal laptop, but since I feel so crappy, I've decided to convince myself that I'M FANCY in hopes that it lifts the hacky coughy spirits.)

I Got Ya Friction Riiiiiight Ovah Here.

Hello, strangers. I was gently motivated to contribute a new tidbit by my sweet mommy (though she totally didn't mean it that way), who recently asked, "Have you put anything new in your blog recently? I haven't seen anything..." Um, no, Mama, I haven't. I figure the least I can do is proffer a few words for Mama and all my other peeps to chew on for a few minutes. So here goes:

Have we talked about Tarte's fRxtion (pronounced "friction") yet? No? Oh goodness, set your alarm and go get some in the a.m. It may be the best twelve bucks you'll ever spend. This fabulous lip-scrub-and-balm combo is packaged in a split stick that has a mirror built into the cap (um, Fabulous, party of one...). One side is a sugar scrub in an emollient base, and the other side is a yummy lip balm. Give that pucker a good scrubbin', and just try not to lick the scrub side (you won't be able to refrain, trust). Now wipe off the scrub and load up on the balm. Now go flit about and try not to act surprised when you hear, "Excuse me, Miss Jolie, can I get an autograph?" (Also, Angelina? Stop it. Stop with the tattoos, stop with the baby factory, stop with the emaciation, just stop. Brad was way hotter before you ensnared him in your evil black-leather web. Jen may not be able to keep a man, but at least she's not trying to channel Elvira. Have I mentioned that the Oak Ridge Boys' "Elvira" was my FAVORITE song when I was little? Loved!)

This was the other weapon in my arsenal during the Colorado trip last month. My piehole got a good two rounds of fRxtion everyday to keep dryness and scaly bits at bay, and it kicked ass. Look at it this way: the afforability of fRxtion totally offsets the exorbitant price tag of the Glam Balm. But both are fab, and you seriously need both as we head into the season we call Winter (that toothless whore). So go get it, and scrub-and-balm away. You'll thank me. You'll also thank me when I quit being a no-count and am better about posting. Okay, I've gotta go-- a new episode of "Golden Girls" is starting. Don't ever accuse me of not having my priorities straight...

Rocky Mountain High...

For those of you who've been reading my blog for the past year (big, inappropriate hugs to you), you'll recall my foray into heavy-duty moisturizers upon traveling to Colorado with Hubs for one of his conferences. Well, it's that time again, and here I sit on my mountainside balcony at more than nine thousand feet above sea level, watching the mountain gondolas ferry crazy-assed mountain bikers up another two thousand feet so they can defy death, snakes, rocks, and whatnot all the way back down. (I'm assuming these are the folks who are crazy-assed ski bums in the colder months. Not for me, not for me.) The only product keeping me from looking like a science experiement this time around? Rodial Glam Balm. Sho' 'nuff.

Glam Balm rules all in the moisture department (a warning-- if you're like me, and talk really fast and sometimes don't e-nun-ci-ate like you should, you'll end up calling it "Glam Blam." Trust.). It's very thick, very emollient, and comes in a tube so small that, at eighty bucks, you'll likely find yourself upon its purchase saying, "Self, I have to stop reading that Julie girl's blog. That bitch has officially lost her damn mind." But I promise, a little goes a long way, a little dab'll do ya, insert whatever other corny euphemism you can think of here. Stuff is dense, but spreads out once it warms to the touch. Expect one tube to last a few months, unless you find yourself almost two miles above sea level and are patting it under your eyes, on your lips, all over your face before bed, along your cuticles, etc., etc., like I am this week. Whatever-- it works. Additionally, it promises all sorts of anti-aging benefits with regular use, such as plumper lips (yes, I need those) and fewer wrinkles (um, yes, really need that) in thirty days. It's also awesome for those of your who suffer from dry skin under the eyes and around the nostrils from allergy-induced eye-watering and nose-blowing. If you're lucky enough to find yourself in a Bloomingdale's that has a Space.NK in it (in which case, you'll have some serious 'splainin' to do for not inviting me), pick it up there. Otherwise, get it here. You Nashville pretties can get it at Woo Cosmetics in Green Hills. Love that place.

On a totally different front, please be sure to keep my friend Amy in your thoughts and prayers and check out her blog immediately. She leaves for the Peace Corps this week, and will spend two years in Namibia. Rest assured that a beauty care package from the Beauty Junkie will make its way over to her very soon after she's settled. Talk to you soon ladies!

Buzz buzz buzz...

An update on the Pulse Perfection mascara: it works much better WITHOUT a primer under it. I experienced the same thing back in the fall with that Godforsaken Phenomen'Eyes by Givenchy (clearly, I'm not bitter). PP still takes longer to apply than non-vibrating versions, but the result is pretty good. Just thought I'd pass along a little tidbit to tide you all over until I can post something more worthwhile (btw, I have no idea when that will be, but I love you for being patient). In the meantime, keep it real, and flaunt those lashes! Kisses!

Brace Yourself.

That's exactly what you're going to have to do before trying out the newest thing in mascara. This stuff is beyond-ridiculous-super-awesome, and you'll have to make sure you use it for the first time completely alone because you're going to want to smack somebody.

Wait, let me back it up a tic...

You all know how I feel about mascara (I'm very black-and-white about it: I either love a mascara or I hate it, nothing inbetween, and if I hate it, I will hold a nasty grudge against it and its manufacturer for all eternity). You also know how I feel about Lancome's Cils Booster XL, and if you haven't tried it yet, well, I can't really help you. It rules all, and kicks my ass everyday with its blistering awesomeness. It freed me from the snobbery of department-store mascaras, and showed me that, as long as I had Cils Booster on board (think of it as underwear for lashes-- they should call it Lash Panties! Ha!), I could freely slap on six-dollar drugstore stuff and get heavy-duty results.

Quite simply, I love it, I love it, I love it.

Okay, so we have that established. I also told you a few months ago that Lancome had launched their vibrating mascara Oscillation (see older post for details). It was only a matter of time before they put two and two together and launched a vibrating version of Cils Booster XL. (I'd like to think that they did it just to make me happy.) Oscillation Powerbooster has a totally stupid name, and costs almost forty bucks, but you're just going to have to deal with it, like I did. It does an even better job than Cils Booster at priming, boosting, separating, and prepping lashes for whatever mascara you want (I humbly suggest the fabu Lash Blast), and produces the fattest, most defined, prettiest, flirtiest, sexiest lashes ever.

EVER.

Powerbooster is available just about everywhere. Nordstrom carried it first earlier in the month, but I found it a bit ridiculous to have it shipped to me when I could wait a couple of weeks and snag it at a department store. I don't care how you get it, just get it and, as I said, brace yourself. The vibrating mascaras can take a little time to get used to, but not Powerbooster. It hooks your ass up right out of the gate. The first time I tried it (earlier this week, when I immediately washed my face upon arriving home so I could tee it up), I almost blinded myself trying to take closeup pictures of my results so I could post them online. I even kept one eye totally bare, for the sake of comparison. I couldn't get the pics to turn out right, and was starting to see spots from so many flashes, so you'll just have to trust me. Be prepared to yell out expletives/ exultations/ a few lines from the Hallelujah Chorus/ whatever, and advise your loved ones to keep a safe distance, because you will feel the need to just haul off and smack the fire out of whoever's closeby.

Oh, I also tried Maybelline's vibrating mascara this week. Pulse Perfection promises to do what Oscillation does, at half the price. Fifteen bucks is pricey for drugstore mascara, and we all know how I feel about other Maybelline mascaras (see my rant about their Colossal formula in an earlier post). That said, I was willing to suspend my grudge and peep the Pulse. And?

Meh.

It's fine, but a little thick for a vibrating format, and is a little clumpy. It's hard to know when you're crossing over into Clumpytown, because you keep thinking that the vibrating wand will separate lashes. If you just can't bear to spend thirty bucks for the department-store version (or are saving that cash for the Powerbooster-- a wise choice), I'm fine with your using Pulse Perfection, but I'd rather you use Lash Blast. More bang for the buck, in my opinion.

So what are you doing still reading? Get off your duff and go by some Powerbooster! I expect a full report!